Bentley's hat fits perfectly. He looks great sitting on the front porch with his bright red santa hat and his wooly plaid scarf. The bear is having to spend a few days inside sitting on the quilt rack in the foyer, however. Windy, rainy weather drove him inside.
I had a second date with Pete on Saturday night. He arrived and rang the doorbell, and when I opened the door, there he stood holding Bentley. I wish I had had my camera then. The wind had blown old Bentley off his chair and he was lying face down on the porch.
Pete is really a nice man, very outgoing, very personable, and not bad looking either. But this is just not working out for me, and I have to tell him--sooner rather than later, as they say. I think it's just still too soon after Vann's death for me to enjoy dating, if ever. I've been thinking all weekend how I'm going to tell him I don't want to see him anymore. Lord! I feel like a teenager.
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On 11/28/2011, Barbara Anne said ...
How charming Bentley looks in his Santa hat and scarf! The color match couldn't be more perfect! Am glad to hear he's in from the wet weather as all beloved bears should be.
I can certainly understand what mixed feelings you must have about dating. I've not been in your situation but wonder if enough time will ever pass so you'd be comfortable dating again? Perhaps a casual friendship is the way to start now or later. Wishing for your head and heart to find peace about this.
Big hugs!
On 11/28/2011, Pat S. said ...
Hi Susan,I'm sure Pete would want you to be upfront with him.If your heart isn't ready then it is too soon,there is no limit on the time we grieve.By the way Bentley is adorable!!
On 11/28/2011, Debra said ...
Strike a deal with Pete--tell him honestly that you are not up for a romantic relationship but if he wants a friend, you can handle that (if you can). Then, tell him that once a month would be about as much as you could handle being friendly (and that would mean going to an expensive restaurant and then a concert or something! joking, well, not really.)
Seriously, I am sure he understands your position; having lost a spouse too. Vann's shoes are very big to fill. But, it's ultimately about you and not Pete so let him know that he is a swell guy but you have some healing to do before you can be a swell gal in return.
It wouldn't hurt to keep in touch with him.
On 11/28/2011, Annie said ...
Bentley is adorable. Good luck with the breakoff, at least you gave it a bit of a try. I don't think guys get casual friendships,it's either all the time or not at all with them.
On 11/28/2011, Sharon M. said ...
Susan - Pete does sound like someone who'd understand your misgivings. I'd probably feel the same as you - you tried it, it didn't feel right, too soon - if ever.
I've thought it would be nice to just have a male friend to go out to eat with occasionally, or to an occasional movie or theater performance. Just haven't had the courage to do any of that on my own. We live in such a "couples" society, and when we are no longer part of a couple, it really shrinks our world. BTW, tomorrow, November 29 would have been (WOULD HAVE BEEN) our 50th wedding anniversary. Not sure how I'll spend that day.
Bentley looks so cuddly and loveable - love him!
On 11/28/2011, Debby Messner said ...
I love Bentley. Better tie him to the porch when the wind dies down. Someone would have fun kidnapping him.
Sorry about your friend. Would he or you just consider companionship. Sounds like it wouldn't work for you. That would be nice for you though. Or tell him to look you up in another year. You still need to heal. Van must have been such a special man. (((((HUGS))))
On 11/28/2011, Gael said ...
I dont have much to add as all these wise ladies said it perfectly :)
Do what YOU wanna do, for YOU...
I like the suggestion of him looking you up in a year...
As for Mr.Bently, I say he needs some cool shades!
Take care,
Gael
On 11/28/2011, Deb said ...
Oooh, Susan, I do feel for your situation! I've never had an experience like this one. But my motto has always been that nothing beats communication. He would appreciate the honesty I'm sure. If it's too soon, it's too soon. I'm saying a prayer for you right now and wishing you the best!
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