you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.
I just haven't been able to get my mind into blogging these days. I apologize to my regular readers that I've had nothing to offer. I've been busy, it's true, with the dogs and the house and such. But that's not really the reason. There just seems to be nothing creative up there lately. A lot on my mind. Next week will bring the first anniversary of Vann's death. I just seem to be going through this time last year, day by day. On this day last year, he had only six days to live--things like that. And the person who has been causing trouble all year is still at it. I wonder if this is going to be my life from here on out.
But I have DANCING DOGS! And so many other blessings. Why can't I just take each day as it comes and be grateful and not let the aggravations get to me?
I have a hummingbird cake order and an order for a pan of brownies, so I best get to getting. And while I'm doing that, I'm going to give myself a good talking to and try to pull out of the funk I seem to be in. Vann would hate this. He wouldn't stand for it. (BTW, he wouldn't stand for the problems the bane of my life has been giving me either.) He was one to take each day as it comes, enjoy the joys and try to overcome the problems. That's what I want to do.
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On 08/26/2010, Wendy said ...
Virtual hug to you, Susan.
On 08/26/2010, Helen in Switzerland said ...
So sorry that life isn't going the way you would like it to Susan - but I guess this is how it has to be with Vann's anniversary coming up. I can't imagine you not reacting this way at the moment. If I lived nearer I would come by and bop the person causing you problems right on the nose....Take care my dear....things will get back on track when the time is right....
On 08/26/2010, Loribelle said ...
Hate you're in a funk but love the picture. How can you look at that and NOT smile?!? I can tell Soph was breakin' and shakin' cuz her ear is standing straight up. Love you much brownie maker!!
On 08/26/2010, Ruth said ...
Susan, its only natural that you're reliving last year who wouldn't?
Be kind to yourself and have some little treats, whatever they are for you.
As to that aggravating person I'd like to tear a srip off her/him and tell them whats what. Too bad you can't be rid of this person forever.
Lots of hugs.
Ruth
Love the dancing dogs.
On 08/26/2010, Lainee said ...
"Thunk"...that's the sound of a virtual kick in the ass of that troublesome person! Hopefully, they are of no true significance to your life and you will be able shut them out of your mind and turn your back on them forever.
I understand completely about sometimes having nothing in you to post about and my reasons don't even begine to compare to yours.
On 08/26/2010, Carol said ...
Sending a virtual hug to you too, Susan.
Don't know why some people behave as they do. But they do. Sorry to hear it continues.
I know this is a difficult time for you. Please know that I think of you daily (whether you blog or not) and keep you in my prayers.
On 08/26/2010, Joanne said ...
Sorry for the aggravations and the heartaches.
Did the vet think that little Skippy dog is full grown? It's hard to imagine a dog just half the size of Sophie. They're both precious!
On 08/26/2010, Helen said ...
The little dancing dog...your newest addition, is a Heaven sent gift don't you think?? I am always amazed (but never surprised) how timely bits of comfort come to lift our spirits. Go through every moment of this week...feel it all as you work through this natural grieving and we will all be here when you want to come back. I've told you before how I admire and take inspiration from your strength and fortitude...perhaps this is the time to be vulnerable and contempletive as sorrowful as it is. Praying for you and knowing that Vann is looking down with pride at your courage to keep walking through this difficult journey.
On 08/26/2010, Donna said ...
Susan,
Love the doggies ... they are so cute!
I did the same thing a few weeks ago when it was the one year mark of Amber's passing. I relived each day thinking "what did I miss". Monday will be Amber's birthday and I can't seem to move on ... I never will. I know you miss your Vann so much like I do Amber.
I am sorry about the turmoil in your life. I ended a friendship several weeks ago that I felt was just "toxic" and I didn't need it in my life right now.
I also have a family member who has been so inconsiderate during my grieving for Amber. Life is just too short to waste my time thinking about people that don't really care. It is sad and I am hurt but I am better off without some people in my life.
Sendng you big HUGS!
Donna
On 08/26/2010, Kai said ...
First of all, about that lil' twit giving you trouble: I say you need to give him a good ignoring! If THAT doesn't work, tell him your friend Kai has a Comanche war club (I DO, by the way) and KNOWS how to USE it! Grrrrr! And don't you EVEN think you should apologize for not blogging enough. We who love you - and that's a LOT of us - understand what you are going through right now. Let yourself feel what you NEED to feel, indulge yourself just a bit extra until your heart is somewhat soothed, lean on all of us whenever you need us, and maybe - just maybe - join in the Sophie/Skippy dance marathon! LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH!
On 08/26/2010, Linda said ...
Dear Susan, I miss your posts, but I understand. You are traveling on a rough road at the moment. Take those bumps as they can; the road smooths out a bit just ahead. I don't know why, but sometimes we seem "blessed" with a difficult person(s) (often a relative) in our lives. The Lord has his reasons and He says they are for our good. I'm reminding myself that these blessings are indeed blessings. I tend to think of blessings as fun and pleasant, but --sigh-- not always so. But always for our good.
And so, grieve and learn and grow as you go through the next few weeks. We're here for you, thinking of you and praying for you and waiting for you.
Blessings, blog friend,
Linda H
On 08/26/2010, CarlaHR said ...
I was thinking of you just this morning and that the first year's anniversary of Vann's death was coming up. It is only natural that you are feeling at odds. So sorry to hear that you are still having problems with that certain person just keep telling yourself that they are not worth taking note of - yes, of source, that is easier said than done.
Do take care of yourself---one day at a time.
On 08/26/2010, Jada said ...
HUGS to you!!! I've read through a lot of your blog when I came across it about a week ago. Take care of yourself and those precious babies. Nothing else is more important than you doing what makes you happy and gives you comfort right now. The rest will come when you're ready. One last thing...NEVER FORGET!!!! Vann is ALWAYS with you, forever in your heart....love knows no bounds. I know words can never take away your grief but, I am so very sorry for your loss.
On 08/26/2010, Linda F. said ...
My heart goes out to you...it's such a rough time. The holiday, anniversaries, birthdays...will all be a time of reflection and rememberance. Some days it will be a moment, others it will last all day or even a week. You just have to allow yourself to grieve. It's part of the healing. I'm so glad you have your dancing babies to comfort you and make you laugh. The picture is precious! Thoughts and prayers are with you.
On 08/27/2010, Teresa said ...
((((Susan))))
On 08/27/2010, Carol said ...
Wish I had an answer for why people act the way they do and why they think they can. You take care! Sophie and Skipper are so darn cute!
On 08/27/2010, Debra said ...
You have to do what you have to do, Susan. It's going to be rough but you can handle it. We are here for you.
On 08/27/2010, Nicole said ...
Thinking of you and understanding with compassion.
On 08/27/2010, Ramey said ...
The doggies look so cute. That Skipper is something else!
On 08/27/2010, Stephanie said ...
Hang in there. It is a difficult time. You will get through it and the funk will pass. You are wonderful and it sounds like you are surrounded with wonderful people (with the exception of a few). Thinking of you and hoping things get back on track for you soon. Warmly, Stephanie
On 08/27/2010, Barbara Anne said ...
Hi sweetie,
I'm so glad that your doggie kids have learned to play happily and dance for your enjoyment. There are many good lessons on living in the moment to learn from our furry friends. Perhaps you need to dance when Sophie and Skipper dance?
The coming anniversary is on my mind, too, as that very date is when my mother died in 2004. You'll be in my heart and prayers between now and then.
As for the person(s) causing you headaches and heartaches, tell them they should be ashamed of themselves, that Vann wouldn't have tolerated their bad behavior, and they can get in touch with you again once they've grown up and can quit acting ugly. The choice is theirs but you're not playing their silly games for one more minute. Block their emails, use caller ID so you don't pick up their calls, and change the locks on the house so they cannot enter. They can contact someone in the family if and when they're over their selfish snit fit. So there!
Be gentle with yourself!
Big hugs!
On 08/27/2010, Niki said ...
Susan, you have such nice "ladies" giving you advice about the jackass who continues to give you heartaches. Sorry, I'm not a lady...just tell this jerk to...Oh,well,I guess you get my drift. Why oh why are there so many small, mean-spirited people in this world?
You have your babies and your friends and family. We love you.
As they say on the "Sopranos", "Forget abbata it". You are special and the jackass in your life is a a sad, attention-craving, loser.
On 08/28/2010, Stephanie said ...
Hi Susan. I'm not privy to all the details of what's going on in your life since I have only recently begun visiting your blog, but I wanted to wish you the best and let you know that you'll be in my prayers. Take care of yourself. ~Stephanie
On 08/28/2010, Debby Messner said ...
I think when this anniversary passes you will find a peace inside. I still think that Van sent you the puppy.
On 08/29/2010, Thelma said ...
Grief comes and goes, in waves. Vann would be proud of how you've gotten through this year. I know you've amazed me!
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