Monday, September 7, 2009

Life Goes On

Solarium 3Not much more about grief and widows and such, I promise. But I do want to show some of the beautiful flowers and plants we've received. Even though we requested donations to the church and the Cancer Society in lieu of flowers, some people felt that the life and beauty of these pretty plants were needed too. And they were right.

The blooms at right are part of a huge basket of white flowers that the folks at Progressive Farmer sent. That's where Vann and I met. He was working as a photographer and I as a writer. Vann spent almost 25 years there, going on to become the magazine's photo editor as well as award-winning photographer. I moved on to Oxmoor House, another branch of Southern Progress Corp., of which PF also belonged until a couple of years ago.

Solarium 4

Sophie got a bath this morning. I've decided this is going to be Sophie Day. I'm going to give her some extra special attention, maybe take her for a long walk at the Walking Track Park. She has been such a good dog this past week; she deserves a treat. And I think it will be fun for me too. Come on, girl. It's a new day. Let's make it count for PopPop.


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On 09/07/2009, Sandy said ...

You go girl!!!


On 09/07/2009, CarlaH said ...

Susan, I think I speak for all of your readers when I say feel free to talk to us about whatever is on your mind - we do not expect you to hide your grief. You are doing your best to deal with what life has thrown at you and we admire you.
Enjoy your walk with Sophie and thank you for sharing the flowers, they are truly lovely.


On 09/07/2009, Molly said ...

Absolutely do NOT censor yourself! I understand about not "wanting" to talk about certain things all the time but please don't hold back. We are here for you, to be your sounding board when you need one.

Have a good time with Sophie! Don't overdo it though, its hot today(at least it is here in east Texas).


On 09/07/2009, Ruth Landon said ...

What beautiful flowers. I agree that you should feel free to talk about whatever you need to, in doing so you are helping others to see how life gos on even if it is a struggle at times.
Enjoy your outing with Sophie you are lucky to have each other. Pets realise what is going on more than we think , and I'm sure that Sophie must be missing Vann too.
Ruth


On 09/07/2009, alexandrine said ...

Beautifuls flowers.
I can't tell you all I want..I don't all the english vocabulary... :-(((and I not sure you can understand if I tell you in french... But take care of you and Sophie. Do what you want , enjoy life and all the moments you have;

Love

Alexandrine


On 09/07/2009, Lynn said ...

I took a class once from an internationally known quilter. She was a widow, also. The whole first year after his death, she immersed herself in making a grief quilt. All the feelings she had, her grief, her anger, her complete loss, all went into that quilt. I expected it to be all dark colors when she finally showed it to us, but it was strikingly beautiful in all colors of the rainbow. Her love for him was there, too. I have never lost someone I loved that much to death so I cannot begin to understand what you are going through. I can tell you that you will need to feel it all to get to the other side of this. My heart, my thoughts and my prayers are certainly with you.


On 09/07/2009, Joan said ...

I am sure that Sophie had a great Sophie Day.
Have been thinking of you over the last few days and you are in my prayers.


On 09/07/2009, AwtemNymf said ...

Beautiful flowers! Good for you- to go out and enjoy Nature the beauties of Gods creations - sun, flowers, a walk with Sophie! Awwwww~ you're so sweet! Praying and thinking of ya'll!
{{ H U G S }}


On 09/07/2009, Gayle said ...

I agree...please do not censor yourself...you may even help someone else in the process.


On 09/07/2009, Carol R said ...

I may not be able to be there to give you a hug in person if you need one, but I sure can give you a cyber one. Please don't feel you are being morbid or bringing your readers down with your grief. We are all one big family in cyberspace and are here for each other in good times and bad.


On 09/07/2009, Alison Gibbs said ...

You know that you can go on about as much grief and widows things as you like. What ever helps you get through the day. Know that we are all here for you in whatever way we can help. Friendships in 'Blogland' are special and caring
Alison


On 09/07/2009, Beverly said ...

Susan, you and Sophie do whatever feels right at any given moment.

Love to you.


On 09/07/2009, Nicole said ...

Are any of the kids still staying with you? Hope you aren't all on your own. After Mom died, I would go through periods of wanting to grieve on my own, or wanting not to think one more second of my loss. I welcomed the opportunity to be totally distracted. I think it is good to have family and friends near so you have your options. Wish I could sit and have some iced tea with you. Just pretend next time you pour a glass.


On 09/07/2009, Debra Spincic said ...

We want to be here for you so show up in whatever mood you are in and tell us what is happening. We couldn't have come to know you and Vann had you not shared your life with us and I hope you don't stop. Some days are going to be great and some days are going to be train wrecks but I hope you know we are here night and day for you.

Sending love,
Debra


On 09/07/2009, Elaine said ...

I am a few days late reading the blogs I follow and I just saw where your dear sweet Vann died....I am so very sorry to hear of you great loss. My deepest sympathy to you, as well as your and his family.

You post about what you need to say...I am sure everyone who are followers of you blog will certainly understand. We are all here for you...
Again my deepest sympathy...


On 09/07/2009, Julia Wood said ...

You are an amazing woman and an inspiration to us all. Sophie, too!


On 09/07/2009, Kelly said ...

Oh Susan... I just found your blog. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine your grief right now.
I just lost my Mom this summer, after a horrific year of Lewey body Dementia.
So far I've learned there is no right way to grieve. And now, just when I think I'm pretty over the grief, I have a hard day like today.
Take all the time in the world to heal, and be gentle with yourself.
I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

Love,
Kelly


On 09/07/2009, Deb said ...

Susan, I agree with the other ladies,you can talk about your grief as much as you would like on your blog. It is a healing process so go for it.
Those flowers were absolutely stunning, such a beautiful white basket , fresh and crisp like the dawn of a new day.
I so hope you enjoyed your walk with Sophie today. I am sure it was benefical for her and you both, the lovely fresh air and time to breathe and remember.
big hugs


On 09/07/2009, Debbie said ...

I am so sorry to read of your loss. Even though I don't personally know you, I feel as though I do through your words on this blog. You and Vann had a beautiful life together and you were certainly loved. I have been praying for ya'll for quite some time and will continue to lift your name in prayer as you go thru this. God is with you in this difficult time.


On 09/07/2009, Teresa/MarieSews said ...

Take care of yourself. Humor is always good even if it seems disrespectful. Your writing is wonderful. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


On 09/07/2009, Barbara Anne said ...

Hi Susan,

Yes, life does go on even when you cannot imagine how. Grief isn't constant, but will come in ever lessening waves and that is how it should be.

Enjoy Sophie, enjoy the beautiful flowers, and be gentle with yourself. You can talk about anything you want to here. We're here for you.

Hugs!


On 09/08/2009, Linda J.W. said ...

Susan,What are friends for but to lesson and to be there for them for the good times and the bad times.You can open up and we are here for you.My prayers are for You and Sophie.
Linda W.


On 09/08/2009, Sheryl said ...

Sophie Day... what a lovely idea, I wish my Mum had a Sophie when my dad passed away I know it would have been a beautiful comfort for her....
My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family even from the other side of the world I am thinking of you... Sheryl.


On 09/08/2009, Diva Kreszl said ...

Susan, I have been away and just returned to hear the sad news that Vann has lost his battle with cancer. I know in my heart that he has won a battle for new life with our Lord. I hope that you will be able to use your blog to pour out your heart when you need to as we are all here for you. Sometimes it can be difficult to share the dark days with family & close friends, we try to be strong for them and to reassure them we are okay. You don't need to do that here...grieve for as long as you need, whenever you need. Grief is a process that is not to be rushed...it comes and goes in it's own time. Sometimes the sadness overwhelms you just when you think you've beaten it, it's okay. As time passes it becomes easier to remember the joyful moments and the laughter and to put aside the memories of pain and suffering. No one can tell you, you should 'move on' or get over it' by a certain time...the loss you feel is justified and you must allow yourself however much time you need. Try not to make major decisions right away, your heart needs time to heal and yes it is okay to laugh and to have fun when those moments arrive, there is no disrespect in that. Vann would want you to find happiness wherever you can...he is always with you and will forever be a part of your heart and soul.
Sending you love & hugs!!!
Diva


On 09/08/2009, Vivian said ...

I just found out about your sad news. My heart and prayers go out to you and Sophie. I want to thank you for sharing your feelings and faith through your writing on this blog. God has given you an incredible talent for writing and I can't wait to see more. Blessings and hugs!


On 09/08/2009, Karla said ...

Oh Susan, you can write about your grief and sadness and memories, and anything you need to write about. I think we would all agree we are here for you and I hope you can feel all of our hugs. I was reading your previous post and I think you are asking many of the questions I would be asking. Try to take things one day at a time or even moment to moment. You will find the answers as time goes on. Keeping you in my prayers.
Karla


On 09/08/2009, Katherine said ...

Susan - We both belong to the CPS group, and I've read your blog for a long time - commenting forever and a day ago. You are a talented artist and I enjoy looking at what you're working on.

Thank you for sharing your gorgeous flowers - and I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I know you've been dealing with this for quite some time - and I'm not going to say I know how you feel, because I don't. I can only imagine...which makes my heart ache for you. I wish I could give you a big hug and sit with you.

I agree with everyone else - please don't censor yourself. At all! Everyone is here to support and love you...and even tho we may not have been in your situation, we are all aware how much you must hurt right now. That's why we're to share our love, thoughts, and prayers with you. It may not be much - but I hope you allow yourself to take in our caring and thoughtful wishes, as well as the offers of help from those around you.

I wish there was something I could do - you, Vann and Sophie will all be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you have a good time with Sophie today - enjoy her company and spend the day doing what you want to do. I hope comfort and love surround you. xx


On 09/08/2009, Marie said ...

I hope Sophie had a great Sophie Day and I hope you did too.
The flowers are so pretty ~ I love the all white effect so much. Thanks for sharing those with us ~ and remember that your blog is the perfect place to share anything you need to share!

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