From the "Do What, Now? Department" comes this. According to the EPA, cow flatulence is the culprit behind (no pun intended) global warming. So the government is considering taxing each cow in the country. Taxes will range upwards to $175 per head. Er, well, maybe "head" isn't the right word here, but you get the drift--or you will if you stand downwind from a herd of the bloated beasts.
Now I'm no big lover of cow flatulence, or any other kind of flatulence. But is taxing really the solution to this? Wouldn't some big Bovine Gas-X tablets be a better solution? Or removing some of the roughage from the cows' diets? Everybody knows what raw vegetables can do to a digestive system when eaten in huge quantities.
I don't see how taxing the critters will stop the gaseous emissions anyway. It'll just cause steak and hamburger and dairy products to cost more. The cows will continue to produce the noxious fumes, the planet will continue to warm and the government will continue to come up with more ridiculous schemes to collect more taxes. And how would you like to be a farmer who tries to explain to his dairy herd that they can no longer pass gas because it's costing him too much money?
I say this movement has got to stop right now. Because if Uncle Sam can tax cow farts, it's conceiveable that he could extend that tax to humans. I know a few people that the government could make a mint off of in that regard. Be warned, people: Today's it's Bossie, tomorrow it might be Uncle Clyde or Grandma Clara.
NOTE: We are leaving early in the morning to drive down to south Georgia to see Vann's family. We'll be back Monday evening. Just didn't want anybody to think we'd dropped off the face of the earth.
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On 12/06/2008, Anna said ...
Susan,
what a great story - it made me laugh out loud.
Hope that Vann gets better and better. I hope that you have a great time in Georgia..
Regards,
Anna
On 12/07/2008, sherry said ...
OMG, I'm laughing so hard. That is so goofy, but I've read it too. Poor cows. I say if we tax the cows we have to tax the windy politicians who also send off so much hot wind that it has to be effecting the global warming as well. So let's be fair with this taxing. And if we have to get into taxing all those we know with "global warming tendancies" oh my! That might be a poot, I mean hoot! LOL You guys have a fun visit with Vann's family.
On 12/07/2008, Rian said ...
It's methane gas. The biggest producer of greenhouse gases. Cows. Who knew!
On 12/08/2008, Mom2fur said ...
Good grief. Maybe those cows should eat big Bean-O tablets.
They getcha one way or another. We get our electricity here from the Long Island Power Authority (LIPA). Okay, so we've been told for years to conserve. We've been turning off lights, etc.
The trouble is, the less we use, the less LIPA earns.
So they're talking about a 17% (yes, that 1-7) increase in our bills over the next few years to make up for the money lost!
Damned if we do and damned if we don't.
Hey, do you think cow essence could be put in a tank and sent to these idiots?
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