I picked the Snowmen quilt and the French Snowballs from Lena yesterday, all quilted and ready to bind, which I planned to get started on first thing this morning. It is now mid-afternoon, and I haven't touched them, except to take the above photo.
Next week, I'm going to see my primary care doctor, and he can find me a new specialist if he thinks I should have one. I'm sick of being sick, and I'm tired of being tired. I want something done, and soon.
I'm lying around here letting life pass me by. I haven't been to church since before Christmas. Nor have I been to quilt guild since September. I missed most of the holiday parties and gatherings that I was invited to, plus a friend's birthday party. I don't go to movies or out to eat. I've even given up browsing yard sales and thrift stores, which I used to love to do.
I seem to now have a sinus infection, in addition to the usual pain and weakness and fatigue and fog that go along with my other conditions.
I went through some photo files from a couple of years ago this morning. I was amazed, and saddened, to see how charming and cozy my house, yards, and porches looked then. Now everything just looks a little drab and tired. Everything needs sprucing. And my back porch?!?!!? It still has a coating of last spring's pollen on it. It seems that every day I look out there and think to myself, I will clean that porch tomorrow. But as I've come to believe, there is no such day as tomorrow. And my pain and stiffness won't let me do things like clean my porch today.
My doctor better find me an answer, or I'm going to hit him in the head with a stick--or something.
A view of the back porch from days gone by
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On 01/17/2015, Barbara Anne said ...
Bless your heart and other parts, my sweet friend. I understand your frustration and anger (that's okay) at all you've missed by your lack of energy, aches, and pains. Last week a friend who also has lupus and I were griping about how tired we are after just taking a shower and washing hair that we would rather curl up instead of getting dressed up to go somewhere or anywhere, much less act nice and ladylike after we arrive.
May I suggest that you get Jesse to help you clear off your back porch, he can gently beat the pollen off the fabrics and brush it off of the fruniture, then musclemen can put it all in your basement or garage until after pollen season this year. Once pollen season is over, you'd have only the porch to wash off (or have someone else do that), and you could have your delightful and clean furniture and pillows back out on the porch. That would be one frustrating task taken care of.
Meanwhile, put your nose in a good book, request some books from the library (on-line), and fret not. Do what you can and let the rest slide for today and perhaps tomorrow. It's hard to give yourself permission like this, but realize that our mothers didn't have our unwelcome limitations that mean we cannot keep things as pristine (my mother) as they did.
Hoping and praying that your PCP can point you to a really helpful doctor.
Big hugs, my friend
On 01/17/2015, Barbara Anne said ...
Oh, and love your two quilts that await your binding them. They'll wait as long as you need them to. On the other hand, stitching a bit of binding on a little at a time is okay, too.
More hugs!
On 01/18/2015, Sharon Penney-Morrison said ...
Wait, wait!!! Remember the verse, "Lead you beside still waters, and restore your soul." Have you forgotten? This is your time to rest...
It is okay to have long spells of "do nothing."
You are not alone in your misery. I am just starting to get my mojo back after 2 months of living like a turtle. I feel better, I even can get things done, with sitting down for 5 min. several times in an hour.
This too shall pass. It always does.
Hugs..Sharon/Ks
On 01/18/2015, Mary said ...
Long time reader, first time commenter. So sorry you're not feeling well. You might feel like you're not doing much, but I'm always so impressed by your creativity, your home, your pets and your family. You are surrounded by blessings....and I'm glad you share them in the blogosphere. Feel better soon!
Signed,
Your new pal from chilly NJ
On 01/19/2015, Patty McDonald said ...
Ditto to what Barbara Anne said. You accomplish way more than you think. Every time I view your site it seems there is a new project in the works or finished. I can only imagine what you get done in a good week. Blessings to you. Patty Mc
On 01/19/2015, Joanne said ...
Susy, I'm so sorry about your limitations--and suffering! It just isn't fair, doggone the luck! I'm getting around pretty well these days, and if there's anything I can bring you, or do for you, PUH-LEASE call me! Hope you can make it to the literary club tomorrow. Lots of love - JR
On 01/19/2015, Jed said ...
Praying for you Aunt Susan!
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