That's because I haven't done anything all week worth taking a picture of. I've been struggling, and struggling isn't very photogenic.
Yesterday was the worst. Somehow fate conspired against me (fate being my own lack of good planning) to fix things so that a necessary trip to the grocery store and Discovery Club fell on the same day. Jesse was home to carry the groceries upstairs. If he had not been, I daresay they would still be in the trunk of my car. By last night, I was a total wreck, barely able to walk from one room to the other.
But I had occasion last night to talk with a cousin with whom I had not talked in years. A distant family member had passed, and she called to give me details, after which we caught up a little on each other's life. It seems she too suffers from severe back disabilities (in addition to having had two recent knee replacements). Turns out that she too is doing aquatic therapy at the 119 facility. Strange how it's a comfort to learn that someone else suffers with you. That's mean, I think. Why is it true that misery loves company? I think it's not because we really want to know that someone else suffers too, but that we want to know that someone else understands.
We talked about our shared inability to do all the things in the house that we had once done. This lessened my guilt feelings a little. This cousin has always been Martha Stewart, Betty Crocker, Suzie Homemaker, and The Fly Lady all rolled into one. And I don't mean that in a sarcastic way at all. She is one of the most talented homemakers I have ever known. To think how sad and frustrating her disabilities must be for her makes me a little less concerned about the condition of my house. Oh, I don't live in squalor or anything like that. But I look around, and things strike me as a little drab and in need of freshening.
So today, I'm freshening a little. Slowly though. I've changed out the linens on my bed, including the quilt, and hung a different quilt behind the bed. I also ran a dishwasher cleaner through my dishwasher and did one load of laundry. That will probably be it for me for today, unless I want to end up feeling as bad as I did last night. But I figure if I do one or two little things every day, maybe I can have my house more fresh and cozy in a while.
And I would like to add that I know many of my readers also suffering chronic and disabling conditions. Press on, good friends. Don't give up on life. Adjust, but keep on living. Each day is precious.
This post was migrated from the old blog. To see the comments on the original post, CLICK HERE. To add a new comment, click "Post a Comment", below.
On 10/23/2013, Barbara Anne said ...
Condolences in the loss of your family member. It was nice you got to catch up with your cousin after all that time. I'm also sorry that your cousin is afflicted with back pain and unwelcome limitations.
I'm right there with you both, sisters! Bummer of a boat to share, but it's true: it's better when you know for sure that others do actually understand. You're not slacking off or lazy, you just really cannot do more than you're doing, that some days are worse than others, and that you didn't vote for these hassles!
Your decision to do little things around the house that please you is a wise one because those touches will freashen your home and make you happy. I hope it's possible to never, ever shop for groceries on Discovery Club day even if it means fast food delivered to your door for dinner.
Big, but gentle, hugs!
On 10/23/2013, Linda Volz said ...
Hi Susan -
I'm praying for you right now that God will heal you and send you blessed relief for your back pain.
On 10/23/2013, Brenda said ...
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of a family member and I am so sorry to hear that you are in so much pain all the time. Prayers for you and your loved ones. I'm glad to hear that you are staying busy and making an effort to make the best of it. As I say, it's not about the day in your life, but it's about the LIFE in your day.
Hugs and uplifting prayers,
Brenda
Down Memory La La Lane
On 10/23/2013, Jackie said ...
My sister has similar back problems as yours except that she had the surgery. Even so, she lost her job because she couldn't return at 100%; I had surgery on my neck for a similar issue and need double knee replacements. Whenever one of us is feeling down about not being able to do things we try to encourage each other and remind ourselves that we need to let go of what we used to be able to do and make peace with the new reality. Thankfully we aren't usually both feeling down at the same time! It DOES help knowing someone else understands what you're going through. It also helps knowing people care and are thinking of you. I hope you know your readers are thinking of you and wishing you have more good days than bad. Take care.
On 10/23/2013, Dolores Tanner said ...
Sorry to hear you are feeling badly... from reading your blog, it seems you do a lot for feeling bad.. take care, enjoy seeing all of the books you read and things you are making.... Take Care
On 10/24/2013, Deb said ...
Sorry to hear of your families loss. Pain is not a fun situation, but I'm glad to hear that you're trying to do little things each day to keep moving. I have osteoarthritis, need double knee replacement but have to lose significant weight before they'll do them, and still ten years before I can retire. I'm about 2/3rd of the way through my weight loss, but the joint pain is still there. I too don't take care of my home like I used to, just don't have it in me to do that, but I do the best that I can and that's all anyone can ask for. Hang in there!
On 10/24/2013, Jed said ...
Hope you feel better soon, Aunt Susan. Love you -
Jed
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