As of Monday, it has been four years since Vann left us. I have had periods of time when his absence is acceptable and I don't miss him so much. But those times don't last very long. Most of the time, I miss him as if he had only just passed a few days ago. I think it might be a little like what an amputee feels--a part of me is gone, and there's just no way it will ever feel normal. Rest in peace, my Boo. My heart misses you.
It has been a busy week, and it's only Wednesday. On Monday, my family got together at my sister Joanne's house for a hot dog feast. Joanne provided the dogs, potato salad, and ice cream. I provided the baked beans (Pioneer Woman's wonderful recipe) and my own Fresh Apple Cake. It was a most yummy and fun gathering.
Yesterday, I picked up the "I Spy a Rainbow" quilt from my long-arming friend Lena (see below). On the way to Lena's, I stopped off and got my dirty car washed and cleaned up.
After Lena's, I drove the lengthy trip to Hueytown to see my primary care doctor, who deserted us last year. Something about my insurance requested that I have a well-patient visit, to check up on my state of wellness, I suppose. Dr. M. asked me a lot of questions, poked around a little, told me to cut back on the salt after palpating my swollen ankles, then sent me to the lab where a nice young woman drew out vial after vial of blood then requested that I pee in a cup for her.
I hope to get "I Spy a Rainbow" bound by Monday for guild show-and-tell. Also Mr. Daniel A., for whom I made the quilt, is due to make his entrance (or exit) any day now. Perhaps he's here already. I'd better check.
So, you see, yesterday was a very busy day, but I did well. I have continued with my stretching exercises each morning and, except for Sunday evening and most of Monday (due to an incident of carrying groceries upstairs and not waiting for Jesse to come home--but we won't talk about that), my back pain has been below a 5, on a scale of 1 to 10. Today, it is about a 3. Before I began the physical therapy, I had not had a day in months when the pain was below an 8 or 9. This afternoon, I'll go for my second aquatic therapy session, and I'm looking most forward to it.
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On 09/04/2013, Barbara Anne said ...
Sending big hugs to you as you miss your sweet Boo extra at this time of year. I do believe that love never disappears or is wasted.
My sweet Mama departed on Sept. 2, 2004, so I miss her more than usual at this time of year, too.
LOVE the Rainbow quilt you've made for Daniel and look forward to seeing it in its entirity when the time is right. Wishing you well on getting that binding on before Monday!
Happy dancing that you're feeling so much better!!!!!!!!!! May it only get better and better.
Hugs!
On 09/04/2013, Linda Volz said ...
Hi Susan -
I hope you are well today. I always enjoy reading your posts even if I don't respond. I was especially touched by your post today about how you are missing your beloved. I won't try to tell you that I know what your feeling because I have not suffered your loss and I would have no way to comprehend the depth of it. Just know that my heart feels a little closer to you today and I believe with all my being that as we trust in our Lord we will as HE promised be reunited with our loved ones on that bright and blessed glory day. Hold fast to your hope sweet lady. God bless you and keep you.
Linda
On 09/04/2013, Jan S. said ...
Thinking of you today, and hoping your water therapy soothes you.
On 09/04/2013, Bonnie said ...
I'm sorry about the pain in your heart, and I rejoice that the pain in your body has been so significantly reduced!
On 09/04/2013, Laura Weathers said ...
Your memories and love for Vann touches my soul. I am so sorry for your loss. I am still struggling with my Dad as he leaves this earthly place. I can't imagine... I am so sorry for the loss of your Vann. Hugs, Laura
On 09/04/2013, Sandy said ...
I started following your blog when Vann was sick and I remember how I cried the day you posted that he was no longer with us. I checked your blog first thing every morning for updates on how he was doing. I remember thinking how odd it was that even though we had never met, I still felt like I had lost a friend and my heart was broken for you. I remember worrying about Sophie missing her daddy and prayed that you and Sophie would be okay. Phantom pain is real to the one feeling it but I'm glad that time does heal. The internet has made this world so much smaller, hasn't it? We can now call each other friends even without ever meeting.
On 09/05/2013, Beverly said ...
Gosh, Susan. Four years?! I know you must miss him so much.♥
On 09/06/2013, Stephani in N. TX said ...
I read your blog regularly when Vann was the center of your universe on the blog. Then somehow I lost the tale of the blog with working and limited "social network" skills. Was proud that when I caught up to you, you had pulled it together and moved on without losing it, nor forgetting what you had. Despite health conditions, you have been an inspiration on how to move forward. Thank you for leading the way in your own way.
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