Why is it that Methodist women cannot conduct an event in which eating is involved without the presence of deviled eggs? Doesn't matter if it's a church dinner, a Chamber of Commerce luncheon, or an awards banquet for the local high school football team, we must have eggs.
About twice a year, I draw the short straw, figuratively speaking, and have to create deviled eggs for one of these events. I would rather cook anything, even a 12-layer caramel cake with homemade icing, duck l'orange, chocolate mousse, anything-- than deviled eggs. Heck, I'd rather sit through an opera or go to the dentist than make deviled eggs.
Every time I'm in the process of this most hated chore, I vow to myself that before I'm asked to do this again, I'll become a Bhuddist. I bet they don't have to have deviled eggs at all their events.
I always have to boil at least half again as many eggs as I need because I am bound to destroy at least that many during the peeling and stuffing processes. And then the ones that do make it though look so pitiful that I'm ashamed of them. I collect plastic containers that I don't need to have returned for the express purpose of delivering deviled eggs to the church. I always try to sneak in and stick the containers in the refrigerator, no name attached, then hightail it out of there before I'm seen.
But today I got caught. Mae H., one of the best and neatest cooks Leeds First United Methodist Church boasts, met me at the door and offered to take my eggs. I handed them to her, mumbled a quick hello and a quicker goodbye, turned on my heel, and skedaddled.
Back home, a kitchen disaster awaited me. Somehow I manage to mess up more pots and bowls and utensils than one would think necessary in the making of deviled eggs. In addition, egg shells end up on every surface and in every nook and cranny. A major cleanup is always necessary after any deviled-egg fiasco.
Now if you great cooks out there have a sure-fire, no-fail, no-mess way of making deviled eggs, I will smile sweetly and say thank you--bless your heart. But believe me, I've tried them all: the ice cubes, the baking soda, the vinegar, cracking a blow-hole in the top of the egg and blowing air into it. The works. Sometimes one or the other of those things works for an egg or two. But there are always several eggs that defy all expert techniques.
I have to confess that I have not, however, tried those little yellow plastic do-hickeys that you see advertised on tv. You know, the ones in which you crack your egg, close it up, drop it into boiling water, and voila! Out comes perfectly formed, no-peel, boiled eggs. I almost bought some of them the other day, before I knew I was going to be tapped for deviled eggs. Wish I had bought them now.
But it's not just the peeling that I make a mess of. The stuffing befuddles me as well. I often tear the white part while I'm trying to get the deviled yoke stuff in. And my finished eggs always look as if they had been jumbled around, dropped on the floor, and maybe stepped on. To help their appearance, I always sprinkle a bit of paprika over them. Doesn't help. They still look pitiful. Taste fine, but look pitiful.
Right now I'm sitting here thinking of the diners at Leeds FUMC who will be faced with those sad-looking stuffed eggs on their plates tonight. I hope they don't spoil everyone's appetite for Mae H's beautiful and tasty roast beef.
Note: I wrote this account yesterday afternoon while recovering from my latest deviled-egg debacle. Due to internet problems, I am just now posting it.
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On 01/13/2013, Joanne said ...
A hilarious account! Thanks for the slightly rueful laugh. I know exactly what you mean, every step of the way. It's the reason I've made deviled eggs less than half a dozen times in my life.
On 01/13/2013, Pesky Patti said ...
In my experience at pot luck affairs I find that the ones that look the worst always taste the best. My method from start to finish is too complicated to type here and requires you to be with me as I go through it. Here's hoping you don't draw the "short straw" too often....lol
On 01/13/2013, Laura said ...
How frustrating! I guess everyone has a bane of a cooking story. One of my best friends can not make jello. It just never sets up for her. When she wants it, she has to ask one of us to make it for her- my MIL calls them "congealed salads".
On 01/13/2013, Barbara Anne said ...
I hear you and had to chuckle at your witty account of a common pot luck problem. We always hard boil extra eggs for the very reason you talk about. Some are lost to missing divots of egg white that stuck to the shells, some have wafer thin firm whites along one side that cannot possibly hold in the egg yolk contents. We keep those that don't pass muster but confess these are most often made for family who don't care so much how they look.
My three suggestions (not seen in your account) are:
1) Always use eggs that are a bit more than a week old. This was my mother's rule for the best peeling results.
2) Add more mayo to the yolk mix so it looks creamy.
3) Be first to sign the list for what you'll bring to the party. This is most important!!
If you have any deviled eggs left over, enjoy!
Hugs!
On 01/13/2013, Debra said ...
Don't buy those plastic things you boil the eggs in. They don't work well. Ask me how I know.
On 01/13/2013, Jan said ...
I feel your pain! I've finally conquered filling the whites with the yolk/mayo/etc. mixture! I snip the corner off a small zip-loc bag, plop the mixture inside and squeeze it into the whites! Easy-peasy!! Really! Now, if I could just figure out how to avoid over-sprinkling the paprika...
On 01/13/2013, queenmeme said ...
Susan...here is a "how to" from SOUTHERN LIVING that I have used forever. Try it, I think you will like it.
12 Minute Eggs: Place eggs in a single layer in a saucepan. Add water to a depth of 3 inches and bring to a rolling boil. When the water boils, cover pan with lid, and remove from heat. Let eggs stand for 12 minutes. Drain and return eggs to pan. Fill it with cold water and ice, let eggs stand few minutes to cool. Then, crack shells on all sides on your countertop or other work surface. Peel under cold running water, starting at the large end.
I always add salt to the water. Good Luck.
On 01/13/2013, Gael said ...
I think its that the eggs are too fresh? I've heard that one...I know your pain, I like making the eggs just for a snack, and yup, alot of the whites end up in the peelings! geesh!
On 01/13/2013, Linda Enneking said ...
If you use fresh eggs they will be difficult. I usually buy my eggs for Easter about two weeks before.
The twelve minute method described above works well. As for the filling, I add mayo, mustard, salt and pepper and a little sugar. Mix with a fork until it's well combined and us a teaspoon to put it into the whites.
On 01/13/2013, Sandy said ...
Deviled eggs make me cuss.
On 01/13/2013, Karen said ...
I'm a home economist and have made TONS of deviled eggs. The Southern Living 12 minute process works great. I also snip the end off a plastic bag to fill the whites. If a white is messed up just mash it and add to yolk for filling. An easy garnish is a slice of olive and a sprinkle of dill weed...easier to control than paprika. Good luck!
On 01/14/2013, Kai said ...
Oh, thank goodness! I was 'living in shame' because I thought I was the ONLY ones with devilled egg dilemmas! Finally, I just tell people, "They may LOOK like hell, but they TASTE good & you won't find any eggshells in them. So if you don't think they're pretty enough, don't TAKE one!" Then I smile at them. (Bless their hearts.) You can serve ME your devilled eggs ANYTIME!
On 01/14/2013, Linda Kay said ...
All I can say is that the pictures and discussion of deviled eggs makes me really crave some. I love the taste and don't care much about how they look - unless, of course, I've made them and brought them to a function!
On 01/14/2013, Sandra Neel Hutchins said ...
Hey, they look good to me, in fact, you have made me hungry! I do agree that cracking the eggs under RUNNING cold water after they have been cracked all over works every time for me. Sandy Gail
On 01/14/2013, Sandra Neel Hutchins said ...
That's peeling them under running cold water after they've been cracked all over.
Have I missed something? What happened to the Little Green Quilters? I enjoyed seeing the quilts so much. Sandy Gail
On 01/14/2013, Helen said ...
Thanks for the good laugh! Susan Branch has a great stuffed egg recipe in her Vineyard Seasons cookbook. Have been making them for years....yum!
On 01/14/2013, Jeanmarie said ...
I can't help you with your deviled egg dilemma, but that post was one of the most hilarious I've read in a long time!
On 01/14/2013, Linda said ...
Nice to read that someone else has the same deviled egg dilemma. I almost always have trouble peeling the eggs. The times that I don't, I have no clue why. The filling is one I've used for 40 years, and it is simple and good, so I don't worry too much about how they look. I'm a lifelong Methodist, and we do love to eat!
On 01/15/2013, Karen in Michigan said ...
Tee hee. I'm a Buddhist. Nope, I can't say we've ever had deviled eggs at any of our potlucks. Most of our sangha (congregation) are Japanese so we get lots of good non-America things. Except for pizza. There's always pizza. My go-to potluck dishes are 3 bean salad and barbequed meatballs. I think I'll bring meatballs for our potluck later this month.
On 01/15/2013, Eileen said ...
Dear Mary,be good to yourself! Next time, just take macaroni cheese. Or if pushed for time, even a couple of packs of tortilla chips and a jar of salsa or supermarket dips. They won't ask you to do devilled egss in future! Please don't torture yourself with these devils any more.regards Eileen
On 01/15/2013, Eileen said ...
Dear Susan, sorry for calling you Mary. Just put it down to a senior moment. I was reading Mary's blog before yours. Happy thoughts. Eileen
On 01/16/2013, Sheryl Colle said ...
That was so funny! With every word I kept thinking, "I know exactly what you are talking about!" My mother-in-law was the deviled egg maker. She went to be with the Lord about 10 years ago. My daughter used to love helping her with the eggs for our family dinners. Reading all this made me miss her.
On 01/29/2013, Liza said ...
Hello from a fellow Methodist. I have inherited the Deviled egg detail at church from others who have given it up. My mom always used the medium sized eggs, so on top off the rest of the challenge of shelling all those eggs, I have to find the correct sized eggs or else know that my mother is giving me the look.
PS my sister got the green bean detail.
On 02/07/2013, Mary L. said ...
I always put my filling in a ziploc baggie and snip off one corner. Then you can pipe the filling into the egg without tearing the white. Very easy and pretty results.
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