I spent the morning working at a local food pantry, packing and distributing food to some wonderful people. God blessed me with the ability to help with this ministry and afterward to grocery shop. But that was it. I didn't even have enough spunk left to put my groceries away when I got home. I've been on the couch ever since, except for taking Sophie out a couple of times and answering the door for several neighbors who came bearing gifts.
Thanks, Ashleigh, for the banana nut bread, Brad for the pound cake, and my dear young friend Alex for the lovely Christmas tea towel. I can't believe the love that my neighbors are showing me this Christmas. Well, of course I can believe it. What am I saying? That's the kind of people they all are. I'm so blessed to live in this neighborhood.
Anyway, I promised I would get the pillowcase pattern out, scan it, and send it to some of you. But that's not going to happen tonight. I'll try to do it first thing in the morning before I use all my spoons* straightening up the house and getting ready for Soup Night tomorrow night.
*Christine Miserandino, author of "The Spoon Theory," suffers from lupus. Her essay contains an excellent analogy for explaining to a healthy person what it's like to have a chronic illness. Many of us with Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome have adopted her spoon theory as our own to explain to our friends and family that while we might look hale and hearty, we can actually feel like crap. If you click on my link in the paragraph above, you can read all about Christine spoon theory. Maybe it applies to some of you as well.
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On 12/23/2009, jeanne said ...
You earned a rest with all you have done. A very sweet post with the lovely gifts that are so meaningful from those you love.
May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!
Christmas love, Jeanne
On 12/23/2009, Barbara Anne said ...
Thanks, Susan. I had never heard of the spoon analogy and it is so apt. I was diagnosed with lupus 10 years ago after 2 years of fatigue. I had a full time job as a surgical nurse and two teen sons. I stopped going to church because I was too tired to get there.
I am fortunate in the my lupus isn't too bad, but I have the misfortune of no longer being able to work. I'm sick too often or too tired and quickly use up my allotted absence periods. I miss being a nurse so very much.
Hope you're feeling more rested and have some of your spoons back!
Hugs!
On 12/23/2009, Pokey said ...
Another lesson learned, from you to me, Susan. A very good spoon article, and I plan to share it w/ my dear MIL, who has Fibromyalgia, also.
A very blessed Christmas to you and sweet little Sophie. love, pokey
On 12/24/2009, Deb said ...
Susan, hoping you are feeling a bit more chiper soon. Christmas is going to be hard for you understandably. No-one will be expecting you to jump hoops. Go with the flow and treasure your memories past.
Am sending kiwi love
hugs Deb
On 12/24/2009, Lynette said ...
I am a great believer in the Spoon Theory, it is a very good ananlogy for those who don't understand our fatigue. Hope you have a happy Christmas and all the best for 2010.
On 12/24/2009, Beverly said ...
Susan, you are a trooper. Good for you.
I am familiar with the spoon theory, and it is a good one. Unfortunately, we seem to have a predisposition to lupus run in our family. And, I have a dear cousin with fibro, too.
Keep heart, dear friend. I saw a cardinal this morning.
On 12/24/2009, DarLie said ...
Hang in there dear one. I too have a chronic illness and some days can't even make it to bed so I sleep on the couch all night. Keep on keep'in on. Your blog is lovely and a ministry in itself.
LiBBy BuTTons
On 12/24/2009, Jan said ...
Tk you so much for sharing the "Spoon Theory" Susan! I had never heard it before and plan on sharing it w/my Husband, Gene. He suffers terribly from severe multi-level spinal stenosis and and he spends the majority of his days in his adjustable bed. I don't think anyone understands the pain and agony that he has endured for almost 5 years. It also tells the story of our Daughter's life. She lived w/very few spoons for 23 long years and I so wish she had had the opportunity to read about the spoons!
Please know that you are in my prayers and I hope that knowing that Vann will be experiencing the greatest celebraton of all brings peace to your heart and warmth to your soul.
On 12/24/2009, Kai said ...
Just look at you, Susan! Here YOU are going through so much this year, yet you take the time to share this with all of us who either HAVE chronic illnesses (you know I have Lupus and Fibro) or those who may not understand how much stamina and determination it takes us just to get through the day sometimes. Then you turn around and help out at a food pantry AFTER making pillowcases the night before, and go to the store to get items for your soup party. You are such a good person; such a loving, caring friend. How could your friends & neighbors NOT show you the same love you always show US? I hope so much that you KNOW I would do anything in the world for you. And I don't EVER offer unless I mean what I am offering. I love you, Susan, and am sending you hugs and smiles! Some are for Miss Sophie as well, of course!
On 12/24/2009, Kelly Ann said ...
Susan...my wish for you this Christmas is a box of extra spoons...hugs to you and Sophie.
On 12/24/2009, Nancy said ...
Susan, you have such a wonderful spirit. To make time for those that need a little extra kindness and help, especially this time of year. You truly are a special soul and in spite of everything, you are keeping the Spirit of Christmas alive and well with your actions. I completely understand the groceries not being put away and leaving other things undone in order to rest. It is so hard to make myself get up and moving sometimes and there are days that I don't make it. (Like today) I was going to go with hubby to a doctors appt, then make the 40-50 mile drive to see our youngest grandchildren (9 and 10) and our oldest daughter and take some things to them. But, I have a mean chest cold and with my Scleroderma, Sjogrens Syndrome and Neuropathy, the cold was the clincher. I just can't make the short trip and wouldn't anyway because I don't want to spread germs along with good cheer. I'm a huge fan of the 'spoon theory' too. It doesn't always work but I find that is when I just don't put my heart into it. 'Operator Error' so to speak, LOL. I do hope you are feeling better very soon. Have a wonderful Christmas Susan. My thoughts and prayers are with you this holiday season as I am certain it hurts your heart at times, yet you still set such a wonderful example for all of us. Gentle hugs and God Bless. (I'll keep the germs here at this end.) Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to bed, LOL.
On 12/24/2009, Ruth Landon said ...
Wishing you a very Merry Christmas, Susan. I wish I could pass on a few of my "spare spoons".
Ruth
On 12/24/2009, Phyl said ...
Wow! Thanks so very much for the "Spoon Theory".....I cannot wait to share it with friends here who tell me I look "just fine" or "not sick at all!!!" when I can hardly put one foot in front of the other. They don't realize we who are on chemo or other meds for chronic conditions suffer in dozens of little ways they take for granted EVERY single day! You save your spoons, now, you hear?!!
As for me: I've been leaving LOTS of my spoons in the drawer and not pushing myself for a good while now; and you know what? It works out just fine! Those who love us understand, and the others we don't need anyhow!Keep on resting, dear Susan! You inspire us once again.......
On 12/24/2009, Lori in SD said ...
Boy, do I understand the spoon theory!! Sometimes I have enough spoons, sometimes I don't! I find I had to scale back my list, I usually get about half of what I put on it done. But I try to find time for the important things, like neighbor presents. Cookies.
On 12/27/2009, Kathy said ...
Thank you Susan. I have struggled with how to explain to others just what I am going through. This is perfect. I have already passed it on to a few dear friends. I suffer from connected muscle disease which is a fancy name for "we aren't sure yet." The lastest tests are pointing toward rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. UGH! I am still teaching school and don't really have the option of quitting just now as my dear husband has been unemployed for over a year now. I will keep you in my prayers. Please remember me.
Kathy
On 12/27/2009, Laurie said ...
It's amazing all you do, Susan. I just loved the spoon story. I can really relate to it with the foot pain I've been dealing with these last few months. So much has to go by the wayside while I conserve my spoons.
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