I think I'm calling this one Mr. Blue Grinch. Because this holiday season I have felt like the Grinch: "I must stop Christmas from coming--but how?"
I've tried pretty hard to ignore the whole thing. I hung my wreath on the door and decorated the mailbox so the neighbors wouldn't think I was some kind of Scrooge, but that's almost it. I started putting up my little Red Bird Tree, but got sidetracked when I couldn't find the ornament hangers and kept forgetting to buy more when I'm out.
I have not addressed the first Christmas card nor purchased the first Christmas gift. I have told family and friends about Christmas Eve Soup Night, but unless I get some things squared away in my house, nobody will be able to get to the soup for the boxes.
So this morning, I woke up with a whole new attitude--an attitude of panic, actually. Like the Grinch found out, I can't stop Christmas from coming. And it's almost here. And I can't ignore friends and family who have been my life support this past year. So I must get busy. Watch out Patterpaw. I'm about to tie a tree branch to your head and hitch you to the sleigh. We've got to start Christmassing around here.
Thank you all for your sweet comments on yesterday's post. You all help keep me upbeat when I feel like falling into that hole. Thank you all and God bless.
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On 12/16/2009, Donna said ...
I just read your posts for the past 2 days. Our loved ones would want us to go on with life, but some days are so difficult on this earth without them here with us. I feel your pain and I like you have tried to stay busy this holiday season.
Your quilt is too cute.
Blessings
Donna
On 12/16/2009, Kai said ...
You sweety! There isn't a person ANYWHERE who would even think of calling YOU a Grinch! You are not - I repeat, NOT - obligated or expected to 'do' Christmas this year nor are you in any way expected to put on a happy face every minute and be sociable. Susan, more than you can imagine, we who love you UNDERSTAND. It's been 6 YEARS since my younger sis died of Lupus complications, and 9 since my beautiful Aunt Adeca died of the same thing. I still miss them ALWAYS - especially during the holidays. So believe me, you GET to feel everything you are feeling! If you don't want to do ANY of the celebratory things this year, give yourself permission to excuse yourself from them. I'm betting by this time next year when the WORST of the pain has subsided, you will begin to think of Christmas again. I LOVE YOU!
On 12/16/2009, Barbara Anne said ...
Hang in there, honey. Glad to hear you have a new resolve to get a move on.
Now make a little list, check it twice, and put ornament hangers as item #1. It won't take too long. You could get on the computer and send everyone those yummy looking foods in the catalogs or a plant from Harry and David,
Yet another thought, pool the gift money, choose a critter to send somewhere in the world by way of Heifer, Intl. We sent a flock of chicks and some bees this year.
Call the sweet friend who offered to come move boxes and get the boxes moved to an out-of-the-way corner, then forget them for the time being. That would take care of the soup night problem.
I'd come over and help you in a heartbeat if Scottie had the transporter working. As they say in the Middle East, shrea, shrea. That means one thing at a time. One ornament, one gift, one card.
Shrea, shrea, I'm doing cards today, too.
Hugs!
On 12/16/2009, Lavender Dreamer said ...
I know how hard it is to celebrate when you've suffered such a loss. I'm keeping you in my prayers and I know you are surrounded by family and friends that care. Hope you stop by to visit today to see my Zuzu Petals!
On 12/16/2009, Helen said ...
Well....If I had the nerve to take pictures of what my cozy home looks like at this minute...you would feel MUCH better (if you subscribe to the "misery loves company" theory :-). Christmas decoration boxes everywhere with no Christmas energy to actually do anything with them.....Christmas shopping not done, dinner for 21 to cook for Christmas with no menu as yet :-(.... We had a death in our family a bit over a week ago, a long time coming and not unexpected (my brother-in-law) but the reality is tough. You have now given me just the "gentle shove" I needed.....I will be singing my grand-daughters "clean up" song today, as I at least make my home happy...and it will probably make me happier as well. Blessings of this sacred season to you - a miracle is coming.
On 12/16/2009, Pat said ...
Well - Mr. Blue Grinch does have a heart... But of course! I'm kind of feeling the same way - what have I forgotten??? My word this year has been "focus," and I have to focus to focus. We'll be okay.
On 12/16/2009, Debra said ...
It may be time for some new holiday traditions and the first one may be not doing so much. I am sure -- I would bet money on it--that no one in your family needs a gift. As long as the kitchen is accessible, since that's where everyone goes anyway, I would say, Soup's On!
Be Gentle with yourself, Susan.
xoxox
(Love that monster!)
On 12/16/2009, Phyllis said ...
...my dear Susan:I'm praying you will SOON and FINALLY realize you do NOT have to:
* decorate anything
* cook/feed anybody
* send any Christmas cards
* clean up your house's "mess"
* put on a "happy face"
* or celebrate Christmas in any way except whatever ways make you and Sophie comfortable in your grief of trying to get through your first holidays without your beloved Vann!!!!!!! The Lord will understand, and so will your true FRIENDS, so settle in on the couch with the dog and a good book and take naps and let the grieving process proceed........you cannot "put it off" for another time; it's a healing thing and you will work your way through it one day at a time. You have many good friends there in "real" life, and also here in "internet" life, who love and pray for you daily and who look forward to sharing your days through your wonderful blog.
God bless you, dear heart.......
On 12/16/2009, Kai said ...
What a DOOFUS I am! I rattled on & on and failed to say how positively adorable your newest monster is! I LOOOOVE how he has that, "Look how CUTE I am!" expression! (And he IS!)
On 12/16/2009, Rian said ...
Hey, don't knock yourself out. Really. If you must, make it verry verry simple.
I absolutely love your monsters, how can you not smile when you are working on something so dang adorable.
On 12/16/2009, Joanne said ...
Don't panic! And don't do anything else you don't feel like doing. I can remember more than one Christmas when I was the only one in the family that made NO kind of effort, and I think everyone kept on loving me anyway.
Love and blessings,
Your oooold sister
On 12/16/2009, Patti Koosed said ...
Great attitude Susan. You are right, your friends and family need you soup night and your Christmas Cheer
Big Hugs
Patti
On 12/17/2009, Nancy said ...
To have a change for the holidays I've flown from 85degrees in Florida to 23 degrees in Indiana. My tho'ts and feelings are so much like yours but I try to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep going. I am not letting traditions or any have to's get to me. Looking forward to Christmas with family and letting them do all the work. Can't wait for Jan 1st. Hang in there..... Nancy from PH Florida now shivering in Indiana
On 12/17/2009, Jan said ...
All the "firsts" are so very difficult Susan; but time flies by so quickly that they'll all be behind you soon. Until then, please do whatever makes you the most comfortable and whatever is the easiest to help you through these difficult days. If it's "decorate," then "decorate." If you can't bare the thoughts of "decorating," then it can wait till next year :) Only you know best my dear! You just be sure to take care of yourself thru out it all :)
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