I continue to be amazed at the comments I receive from friends--bloggers and in-person friends--about how I have been an inspiration as I carry on with my life after Vann's death. I had three such comments just yesterday from quilt guild friends. It's really humbling, and it also reminds me of how we can be examples to others, both for good and for bad. I've been thinking about that a lot lately.
I promise you that there are days when I just want to pull the covers up over my head and tell Sophie to get outside the best way she can, tune out the world and go back to sleep. But then I think of a quilting projects I want to work on, a meeting I want to attend, a book I'm reading, or a box that needs filling. Those are some of the things God has put in my life to show me just how wonderful life really is. And when somebody gives you something (especially God), you don't just throw it all away; you enjoy it.
Just because my dear Vann has finished his tenure on earth doesn't mean that God wants me to stop living my life until I can be with him again. Not only, I think, does God not want this, but I don't think Vann wants it either. He would be the first to say (in fact, he did say) that I was to continue living. I know I'll be with him again soon enough. But first, I plan to enjoy, as best I can, each day God gives me.
I could let the negatives take over my life. I'm in constant danger of falling into the hole Vann's passing left here at the Yellow House. I could go all melancholy on the grey rainy days of winter when my muscles hurt and the fatigue sets in, I could bemoan the fact that there's no man around the house now to do the manly things like take out the garbage, mow the grass, and change the furnace filters. I could feel so sorry for myself because I've lost the love of my life all too soon.
And I do go all melancholy sometimes. Just yesterday at guild meeting, our president Pat read a touching story about a poor family during the Depression who helped a family who was even less fortunate than they were. Then a dear friend and guild member told us about how his daughter, who has been very ill, was progressing. He spoke about another friend and guild member who had died in a car crash last year. By the time he finished, he had tears in his eyes, and I was bawling. It seems that the emotions of others can draw out my sadness, which is always just below the surface.
But I can choose to not let that sadness be lord of my life. I can put the negatives aside, at least most time, reach in my pocket and find "Zuzu's petals." My life is so filled with blessings that i think it might actually be a sin to ignore them in favor of trials and problems. Blessings like sweet, caring friends, loving family, good dog sophie--not mention essentials like food and shelter that so many don't have. Even rainy days and cold days have their charms--time snuggle on sofa and watch a good movie, read a book, or pet a warm doggie
So while I know there will be many more tears, I believe there will be much more laughter too. I'll praise God and thank him for my life and continue to tell Vann, "Good night and I love you," every night as I have since the day we were married. And I'll enjoy the blessings of every day God puts before me. My wish for you all this Christmas is that your life is filled with at least half the blessings this poor old girl enjoys.
And before the Schmaltz Police come to take me away, let me show you this. I finished my first monster block in the new larger size last night. Can't wait to get started on the next one.
I also need to get back to work on my Snowball Challenge, and I haven't even started my guild challenge (Happiness Is...) yet. So many quilts to make. Let's not waste one single hour feeling sorry for ourselves. Stitch on!
This post was migrated from the old blog. To see the comments on the original post, CLICK HERE. To add a new comment, click "Post a Comment", below.
On 12/15/2009, Gayle said ...
Beautiful!
On 12/15/2009, Courtney Short-Prudhomme said ...
ur awesome :-)
On 12/15/2009, Debra said ...
Stitch on, oh, let us stitch on!
xoxox
On 12/15/2009, Debbie said ...
Love you, Susan!
On 12/15/2009, Ruth Landon said ...
Thank you Susan for the inspiration. You really are a blessing.
Ruth
On 12/15/2009, Carol said ...
Susan you are an incredible inspiration.
On 12/15/2009, Nancy said ...
Susan, I have to tell you that I have kept my husband updated on how you have carried on your life and your strength of spirit as you go on and inspire us after losing your dear Vann. He said just the other day, and I quote "I hope that if I go home before you do, you will follow her example and remember to keep on living, it is what I expect you to do". You really have set such a wonderful example with both your actions and your faith in the Lord. I thank you so much for that. You have been a blessing in my life also. Okay, moving on, your monster block is adorable. Just too cute! OH...by the way, I finally found a copy of "Duma Key". I'll be starting it as soon as I finish Under the Dome. Thanks for your help on that.
On 12/15/2009, Nicole said ...
Wonderful post Susan. You can only go one step at a time.
On 12/15/2009, Linda J.W. said ...
OH Susan,You are such a blessing to me.It was last Feb. that I told you that I would be sending you something for your Totem I picked it up while my Mother was in the Hospital and she died and I never sent it to you.Well would you believe I put that box in the mail yesterday.It will be my frist Christmas without her,I think the Lord
that I had such a wonderful Mom for 89 years
I have tears running down my face as i write this.I know she is in a better place and so is Vann HUGS Linda W. from a little ranch in Texas
On 12/15/2009, CarlaH said ...
Susan, what a lovely and inspiring post. I am sure that Vann would be very proud of your can do approach to dealing with adversity.
On 12/15/2009, Barbara Anne said ...
Bless your heart, sweetie, you are a peach! Schmaltz as it may be, I thank you for your courage and faith in carrying on and helping us have a good example when we need it someday.
Just yesterday at Hallmark I found something you may need. I bought the last one at that shop and mailed it to California today, but you might want to scour the Hallmarks in your area for this. It's a pretty 5"x5" tile made by Grasslands Road, depicts a cardinal with the words "Let Heaven and Nature Sing", and comes with a little stand. There's also a hook on the back in case you want to hang it.
Love your new monster!
Stitch on, girlfriend! Hugs!
On 12/15/2009, Wendy said ...
One of my many blessings this year was finding your blog site. You are an inspiration. Blessings to you this Christmas and throughout the new year.
On 12/15/2009, Kai said ...
It's incredibly hard to lose people we love, and you have shown us ALL through this past year what it means to walk in your faith. My people would simply say, "You are a real human being." You DO know that you carry Vann's sweet spirit with you, don't you? It SHINES, Susan, and YOUR beautiful, loving spirit shines even brighter for it. I truly love you, and am so proud to be counted among your friends. P.S. I JUST watched 'It's a Wonderful Life' yesterday afternoon. I can say the lines WITH the actors - ALL of them - & yet, I wouldn't miss it. I STILL cry every time I watch it.
On 12/15/2009, kayellen said ...
You are a wonderful and inspiring friend:)
Warm hugs from California!
KayEllen
On 12/15/2009, Rian said ...
It really is. A wonderful life. We are given the gift of this spirit of life, and I believe that it is beholding upon each one of us to make the most of our time here, no matter what heartaches, physical challenges, or other setbacks are bestowed upon us.
On 12/16/2009, Thelma said ...
Wonderful post, true you don't have the life you ask for, but a different life doesn't have to be a bad thing either. Best Wishes to you.
On 12/16/2009, Beverly said ...
Susan, I know God and Vann are very proud of you. And, so am I. You have always been an inspiration to me.
I am sitting at my desk in my home office, and the most gorgeous sunrise is occurring outside my window. The sky has changed from darkness, to a deep shade of pink to a variegation of soft blues and pinks. It has been a gift to me to begin my day. Close your eyes, and maybe you can imagine a share of this gift.
On 12/16/2009, Deb said ...
Hi Susan ~ I'm just reading this post, and I SO agree. It definitely IS a wonderful life even amid the hardships....and you should know since you've had some this year! Thanks for carrying on and letting us share a part of your life.
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