It's so hard to believe the number and severity of problems that are stacking up on my family. Now I'm in bed with flu. Temperature never went below 99.8 last night. At one point it was almost 102. But I think its under control now. I'm taking Tamiflu, decongestant, cough med, and tylenol--and sucking on Hall's Mentholyptus.
Amy and Phillip are under so much stress, I'm amazed it hasn't squashed them. Their mother, who has been in the hospital for about a month with broken hip/leg, is due to be released next Friday. She is in no condition to be alone. She can't bathe, feed herself, or even get to the bathroom by herself. She has no family besides Amy and Phillip, and one sister in Atlanta who is not able to help. Amy has decided to take her mother back to Portland with her. But in the meantime, she has to place her somewhere where she will be safe until Amy can work out the details. She also has to fly back to Portland and find an apartment that's large enough for both of them while Phillip stays here and finishes packing up his mother's apartment.
Both Phillip and Amy need to get back to their respective lives, but all these family problems are holding them here. Phillip's wife is going home tomorrow to Laramie without Phillip. And all of this while they deal with the pain and grief of losing their dad. Please pray for them.
The flowers, sympathy cards, and phone calls continue to pour in. Vann's oncologist, who has been in California since before Vann's death, phoned me yesterday. He told me that it had been a privilege and an honor to be Vann's doctor, that he was one of the most admirable and kind men he had ever known. Dr. L also said that he admired the loving bond between me and Vann and what fine people Amy and Phillip are. He told me that anytime I am near his offices to come in so that he could give me a hug.
Doctors don't come any finer than Dr. L, in my opinion. He always had all the time in the world for us. He genuinely cares for his patients and puts in the hours and efforts to prove it. He always hugged Vann and said "I love you" or "God bless you" before he left him.
With all the blessings of friendship and love that has been poured out on us, I won't feel bitter about all the problems we're experiencing. I will continue to trust God to bring us through them. After all, it is well, it is well with my soul.
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On 09/11/2009, Sandi said ...
I hope you are feeling better soon. I have always thought that our bodies stay well as we go through crises but then when it is over, the lack of sleep and taking care of ourselves catches up with us and we "catch" a cold or the flu. Sounds like you are doing all the right things to get well. I'll keep you in my prayers along with your Phillip and Amy and their family members.
On 09/11/2009, Loribelle said ...
Please let me know what Greg & I can do to help the kids. You have a bunch of folks just waiting to help in any way they can. Everyone is our Sunday School Class looks to me for updates from The Yellow House and you know how they can get!! Don't you remember when Bynum had to finally "fire" her landscaping crew, namely Brad & Jim, after how many months? We love you, Su Su, and in turn love your family, too. Get well!!
On 09/11/2009, Jan said ...
I just happened upon your Blog and wanted to tell you how very sorry I am for the loss of your beloved Vann and for all that you and your kids are going through. Life can be so very difficult and Faith in God and His Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, is truly the only way we can survive. He brought you to it my dear, so I have to believe that He will get you through it.
My heart aches for all that you have had to endure. Cancer is such a terrible disease; and it unfortunately, touches all of us at some point or another.
You must surely be exhausted ... it's no wonder that your immune defenses are down; and now you live day in and day out with the heart wrenching grief. I hope you know that there is no right or wrong way to go through that process, as we all grieve differently. What ever works for you is what you need to do and you need to do that for however long it takes. I will be praying that God leads you and your kids gently to happier days. God Bless you all.
On 09/11/2009, Merrie Miller said ...
I am keeping you in mu heart; this is a very sad time for you I know, but it must be comforting to know where Vann is with certainty. He is surely your angel now; watching over you and Sophie with love as he did here on Earth. You are a fantastic person and deserve happiness there in the Little Yellow House that LOVE built. And I truly believe that there is still joy for you to have here even though your true love is gone from this world; I know he will bring you to the next chapter. All my love; and love from the bullies, my sweet friend. Merrie
On 09/11/2009, Barbara Anne said ...
Hugs to you, Susan, and bless your heart and other parts while you endure this bothersome flu. Yes, it's par for the course for total body breakdown to happen after you held yourself together for so many months. Be good to you, rest, and take the time required to heal.
I wonder if any local assisted living facility or nursing home has any "respite care" beds available where Amy and Phillip's mother can go for just a week or so. Yes, it would be costly unless she she has long-term care insurance or unless she can go to a rehab facility for this short time. Insurance would probably cover the rehab. facility or nursing home, but I found out they don't often cover assisted living.
Please tell Amy that caring for her mother in her own home will be a 24/7 job for a long while and maybe permanently. Perhaps keeping her apartment and putting her mother somewhere there are trained staff to help her would be better for them both and is something to consider. This is another no guilt situation. Amy just has to make the best choice of the workable possibilities and then not kick herself. No guilt!
Prayers for all continue ...
More hugs!
May all the needed doors open.
On 09/11/2009, CarlaH said ...
Susan, sure hope that you will be feeling better soon. We all so admire your spirit! I was going to butt in and offer all sorts of advice for Amy but I'm sure that she will be doing what she feels is right and that's what counts, so I will only offer her my best wishes and hopes that all will turn out for the best. Take care.
On 09/11/2009, Jenny said ...
Bless your heart. I just said a prayer for you and I will continue to keep you in my prayers. I know God will bring healing to you and carry you during this difficult time in your life. Hugssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss,
Jenny
On 09/11/2009, Beverly said ...
Susan, you already know that my prayers will continue for you and your family. We are all so very blessed to find wonderful care providers when we need them. There are so many people that dedicate their lives to helping.
But, I want to tell you how good it is to "hear" you say it is well with my soul. I can sense that from you. And, we both know that as long as it is well with our souls, all will be well.
Take care, dear one.
On 09/11/2009, Nancy said ...
Susan, You and your family will continue to be in my prayers, just as you have been since I began following your blog months ago. Especially for you to get over the flu quicly, and for strength and comfort for the kids to help them through all these trials. I'm so thankful to see you say, It is well with your soul". Sending gentle hugs your way. God Bless and Keep.
On 09/11/2009, Deb said ...
Oh Susan, why is it , it nevers seems to rain but it pours?
On 09/11/2009, Mary said ...
I am so sorry to hear of the challenges your family is having...it does seem to pour at times, and you're surely getting more than your share. But we know that God doesn't give us too much, for His grace is sufficient for all that life can throw at us. When I hear that beautiful hymn, written in the depths of despair, then the cares of our temporal life seem to disappear in the peace that comes over me, knowing that all is well with my soul. I'm so glad that you know that, too. God bless you, Susan...again, I'm so sorry for your loss, but I know God will fill you up again.
Mary
On 09/11/2009, Kristine said ...
It seems that the caregivers put themselves last, when the one you're caring for passing, you just fall apart. Please take extra good care of yourself! I don't want you to end up like my Momma giving up on life and yourself.
If you need to talk to someone who "has been there" please give my Momma a call. (when and if you're up to talking)
As always our prayers are with you day and night. I love you.
On 09/11/2009, Linda said ...
You are an amazing lady! Rather than my encouraging you, you are encouraging me through your Godly outlook and trust in Him.
Take time now to rest and allow healing of both body and spirit to take place. Everything else will fall into place in its time.
God bless you and keep you.
On 09/11/2009, Trudy Neill of Windemere Farm said ...
Prayers continue for each and all of you...rest and recover and draw strength in the new season that surrounds us! I can't help but have tears when I see all the wonderful photos of Vann.
Love,
Trudy
On 09/11/2009, Nicole said ...
Little by little Susan, it will get better. Small comfort now though! What a rough deal that now you are sick with the flu. Unfortunately, it is so common that caregivers suffer physically and mentally when their burden is lifted. It just shows how strong you have been when you needed to be over the past few months.
I can't imagine how Amy and Philip are coping with all that they are experiencing.
My love and prayers to all of you.
On 09/11/2009, Debra Spincic said ...
I knew it had to be something like the flu that would force you to bed for awhile for some rest! Now stay there, hunker down and take it easy.
Sending love,
Debra
On 09/11/2009, Kai said ...
Morton's Salt was spot on with their saying, wewn't they? Take CARE of your sweet self, Susan! And I am sending so many prayers & the VERY best thoughts for good health to ALL of your family. I love you and don't forget - if you need me to be there, I WILL GET THERE!
On 09/11/2009, Bo said ...
Wishing you a speedy recovery from your flu Suzie.
You and the kids will continue to be in our prayers.
Bo
On 09/11/2009, Lavender Dreams said ...
I hope you feel better soon and get your strength back. You are probably just worn out, body and soul. Take care of yourself and get plenty of rest.
On 09/11/2009, Pokey said ...
It sure seems to be a very deep valley and worse when we are sick, but you are not alone. "I will never leave you or forsake you." I'll claim it for you! :-} pokey
I am reminded of another song, too:
"The God of the mountain,
is still God in the valley,
when things go wrong, He'll make it right.
"And the God of the good times,
is still God of the bad times,
the God of the day, is still God in the night."
On 09/11/2009, valerie said ...
I am heartbroken. I haven't been keeping up with too many blogs due to life being so busy but when I came to visit you tonight and realized that Your Sweet Vann is gone, I cried. I am so glad he knew the Lord. My heart aches for you. I am praying for all of your family and what all you are going through. I hope you feel better soon.
On 09/12/2009, Ruth Landon said ...
I hope you feel beter soon Susan, you are being forced to rest now to help regain your strength.
God must think that your family is very strong as we are led to believe that we are only given a load that he knows we can carry.
I pray for you all at this time.
Ruth
On 09/12/2009, Ramey Channell said ...
Hope you "Get Well Soon!" So sorry you got the flu.
Love,
Sister Trois
On 09/12/2009, Lallee said ...
Susan,thank you for sharing. it tells us how we can be praying for everyone. How very kind of the doctor to take the time to call and share his thoughts of Vann. Hoping you feel better soon.
Hugs,
Lallee
On 09/13/2009, Dandelion Quilts said ...
Susan, I hope you are over that nasty bug. That is just not fun, especially when you are already troubled. I read thru and caught up on the rest of your posts. I think it is quite natural to find a chuckle or two, there is nothing to feel bad about that. As for the rest, all in time. I think your questions of time will come evident when it is time.
On 09/15/2009, Laurie said ...
That song, and the story behind it, are always so convicting to me. You're right - Vann's doctor was one of a kind. How thoughtful of him to call. Hugs.
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