Today, after staying in bed all morning, I got up, showered, took Sophie for a walk, then made a pot of White Chicken Chili. It was very good, if I do say so. Instead of Great Northern, I used navy beans, and instead of baked chicken breasts, I cooked a whole chicken in the crock pot and used it. I didn't add any picante, but I did use a couple of fresh jalapenas for some zip. Angela came by after work and had a bowl and we watched a little tv. I have enough of the stuff left over to last several days.
Blake from our lawn service came out today to check out my sickly lawn. He didn't find any insects or disease. He's pretty sure that the big brown patches were caused because the lawn was scalped in a recent mowing. It should return to health with proper care.
I haven't been able to concentrate well enough lately to read. I'm still at the very beginning of The Help, which is a very good book. Tomorrow I'm going to make myself get up and go to the post office and the grocery store.
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On 09/26/2009, Marie Evans said ...
Oh susan you have beenon my mind ever since i read our blib about things not right. Your so sweet and special--don't let these people get to you, God is in control and they will surely find that out!! Hugs, Marie
On 09/26/2009, Linda said ...
Susan, I'm sad to hear that things are not going well. People problems can be so painful. Sometimes life is just that way. It's the human frailty. Dear one, keep your focus on Jesus. People and problems disappoint, but Jesus never. Rest in Him.
On 09/26/2009, Sandi said ...
I wish I could offer you some help. I guess from where I am that all I can do is to keep you in my prayers. I might be able to offer some advice but can't do it in an e-mail. If you ever want to talk on the phone, send me a private e-mail with your number and I'll call you. I know we haven't met but I've been through the ups and downs of grief more than once in the last ten years and I know the road is a very difficult one.
On 09/26/2009, Deb said ...
Susan, I wish there wasn't such distance between us. I would love to be able to pop around and be there for you when you need a friend. Life is hard at times and it is natural when things go wrong to end up slipping back a wee bit, take a big breath, smile wide and believe in the love being given to you by many. Take each day as it comes and don't take on other peoples problems if you don't have too, you need to look after yourself. I know how hard it is not to worry about family happenings, but you cannot do it all. Maybe it is time for others to grow and learn on their own.
huge hugs from across the globe as always,
Deb
On 09/26/2009, Lettie said ...
I am so sorry that things aren't going well. Please know that you are in my prayers. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Take care.
On 09/26/2009, Carol said ...
Susan I'm sending you lots and lots of good thoughts today...I'm glad the yard is going to be OK! You take care.
On 09/26/2009, Covered Porches said ...
Susan -- I imagine everyone is running on 'empty' right now. I'm so sorry. Baby steps-- take those small steps and cling tight to your faith. I know you can do it.
On 09/26/2009, Lavender Dreams said ...
The grieving process is so hard...it doesn't follow any rules. I hope you feel much better today and have lots of energy. I'm sending you HUGS from your friend in the mountains!
On 09/26/2009, Kai said ...
Everyone else has said it all and said it so beautifully & eloquently. All I can add is MY love, my prayers, and my assurance that these 'backslides' are part (albeit a very unpleasant part) of the grieving process. Look to Sophie for comfort because when you DO, she will ALSO be comforted. And that will have Vann smiling at BOTH his girls! I love you, Susan, and you know my number if you need me for anything!
On 09/26/2009, Nicole said ...
I'm sorry to hear that things have gone a bit downhill, especially now that you are feeling so fragile. Take comfort where you can and know that this too will pass.
On 09/26/2009, Gretchen said ...
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
On 09/26/2009, niki said ...
Hang in there. You still continue to amaze me that you're able to blog at all. I know when my husband died all I did was stay in bed. At least you have Sophie who says, "TAKE ME OUTSIDE". I'm praying for you.
Be kind to yourself and do what you want, when you want. You've been through a horrific time.
On 09/26/2009, Charlene said ...
Susan, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Mourning is such a hard thing to deal with. I was crazy for 2 years and it took me another 2 years to realize how crazy I was. Give yourself those days you cover your head with the blanket and eat potato chips and chocolate. Cause it will hit you some days out of the blue. May God keep you in his hands as I keep you in my heart.
On 09/26/2009, mellenewing said ...
I know that you don't know me but I feel very connected to you. My daughter and I attended a "Life after Death" group meeting at the Cancer Society. It was put on by a local hospice group. We really thought it was very helpful in showing us that what we were feeling was normal. I will be thinking of you in your journey.
On 09/26/2009, Debra Spincic said ...
Just stopping by to check on you. You are always on my mind--many of us are grieving with you & it's a relief to see your blog posts even when they are less than cheerful. We need to know you are (essentially) OK. It's a long road but you have many who are willing to share the burden when you are tired.
Sending love,
Debra
On 09/26/2009, Sandy said ...
Oh Susan, if your weather is anything like ours, these gray days are enough to get anybody down, let alone someone dealing with the things going on in your life. Just remember that above the clouds the sun is shining brightly and it's only a matter of time before those rays break thru and make everything look much brighter. Praying for a better day for you.
On 09/26/2009, CarlaH said ...
Susan, what can I say but add my good wishes to those of everyone else - they have expressed all my thoughts and more.
Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way.
On 09/26/2009, Ruth Landon said ...
Suasan, I hope you are feeling better today. I know how much you must miss Vann especially when things are not going well.
Ruth
On 09/26/2009, Anna said ...
Susan,
Just thinking of you and wishing you a pleasant day. My wish for you today is that something makes you laugh, you enjoy some time with loved ones and someone has a story to make you smile.
Warmest regards,
Anna
On 09/26/2009, Barbara Anne said ...
Hi Susan,
So sorry things had you feeling down yesterday and I hope you're feeling better today. Sending hugs!
Add my name to those who wish distance was more managable so we could pop in for a visit or for some of that white chicken chili. What a great house party and sleep over we could have if the brilliant inventors on the planet had just perfected the Star Trek transporter in the last 40 years!
Of course, the return of grief is part of the wave action that mourning and recovery take and others can make it more difficult. Circle the wagons as you need to. Prayers for all continue...
More hugs -
On 09/28/2009, Patti Koosed said ...
Hope you will be feeling better soon. It must be so hard to go on with normal life but it will get easier.
Hugs
God Bless You
Patti
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