Saturday, May 31, 2008

The Gift of Age

Cartoon Old Age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably, for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body!  I sometime despair over my body--the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror. But I don't agonize over those things for long. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. 
    I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
    
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon, before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4:00 a.m. and sleep until noon?
    I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60s and 70s; and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.
    I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.
    I know I am sometimes forgetful.  But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I  eventually remember the important things
    Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child
or pet suffers?  But broken hearts are what gives us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
    I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etch
ed into deep grooves on my face.  So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
    As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think.  I don't question myself anymore.  I've even earned the right to be wrong.
    Being old has set me free.I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could  have been, or worrying about what will be.  And I shall eat dessert every single day if I feel like it.

Squiggle
    I didn't write that. I received it this morning from a dear quilting friend. It was something I needed badly to hear. As I get older, I often feel that the changes taking place (bulges, droops, aches, pains, grey hairs) are things I should apologize for, things I should even try to hide.
    I'm going to sincerely try to not feel that way anymore. Because, after all, I'm only going to get older if I stick around here. The droop and sags and bulges will become more pronounced. So if I think of old age as a gift instead of a defect, I'll have lots more fun in the process.
    Feel free to borrow this and send it to your friends who are 50-something or 60-something or 70-something or 105. It's a lesson that needs to be learned by us all.

This post was migrated from the old blog. To see the comments on the original post, CLICK HERE. To add a new comment, click "Post a Comment", below.

On 05/31/2008, Jana said ...

What a great way to live life! I think everyone needs to read this..I was just looking through blogs and ran across yours. I see that your interested in quilts..you should visit Donna's blog at http://donnasintheattic.typepad.com/donnas_in_the_attic/ Donna is creating a quilt out of fat quarters from people who visit her blog. And you can never go wrong with a quilt that is free! Have a wonderful Saturday!!


On 05/31/2008, mom2fur said ...

They always say age is just a number. I wish my body felt 24, LOL, but it's better than no number at all. My mom is 85 and is more energetic and full of life than most people half her age.
I like the idea of doing what you want and not apologizing for it. Good excuse for buying patterns and fabric even though I already have a stash. It makes me happy, LOL!

Thanks for the nice comment on the little outfit I made. I love to sew for children, even if I don't know what child is getting the garment.


On 05/31/2008, Carolyn Ingram said ...

Thank you for your well timed blog today because it is my 66th birthday and I have honestly tried to practice the suggestions from your friend. But I also struggle with fibro and strangly enough I have so many of the physical problems you have. Also quilt and got started six years ago when I walked into Lydia's in Huntsville. She took one look at me and said you need to do wild and crazy and stay away from that traditional. It has been a passion ever since because I really do not care about anything except pleasing myself. What a relief that was at 59! And what a fun journey it has been. My biggest problem is enough time and dealing with fibro. I honestly believe sewing has kept me sane with that problem.
Anyway, thank you so much for the time you put into your blog and the pleasure you bring me almost daily. Sincerly, Carolyn Ingram


On 05/31/2008, Violette said ...

I used to think that being old was a blessing,until I got old myself. Now that I am up there, I can't help but feel that I am fat and unfashionable. I will have to keep re-reading your post for inspiration.


On 05/31/2008, Jeanne said ...

Loved your post today and it is something I am definitely dealing with. I am trying to just be healthy and enjoy life to the fullest. At our age,(68),time is so precious. I love the quote "seize the day" I try to live by it!


Take care, Jeanne


On 05/31/2008, Beverly said ...

Susan, I totally agree with every word.

And, we think you're beautiful just exactly the way you are.


On 05/31/2008, Donna said ...

Susan,

I love your post, "The Gift of Age"! It is perfect! We can all use encouragement as we grow older. This puts a whole new outlook on aging.

Thanks for sharing!

Donna


On 05/31/2008, Deb said ...

I think I needed to hear this today, too. Thanks for sharing it.


On 05/31/2008, LINDA said ...

Hi Susan , New to your Blog, I will turn 64 next month.I saw this in the funnys last Sunday deep reading i know (Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end the more you appreciate it )
I have a very close friend that dreads getting older, I tell her what's the other alternative.
LINDA


On 06/01/2008, angelines said ...

Thanks for this post, I put it in my blog, I hope everybody read my blog understand it. All it's the true. Regards from Spain


On 06/01/2008, Nicole said ...

I have a milestone birthday coming up, so this post was so well timed for me too. Don't know if I'll give up coloring my hair though! lol


On 06/01/2008, Rian said ...

As I approach my 59th birthday I can identify with so many of these sentiments. I find myself thinking about them a lot. I think it was Paul Simon who wrote, "Ah but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now."


On 06/01/2008, Kai said ...

Susan, tho' I too hate the aches & pains of aging, I actually welcome the sags, droops, grey, etc. I didn't ALWAYS. For just a short time, I felt I hadn't DONE everything that calls for 'youth.' Then I adjusted my thinking & realized that the benefits FAR outweigh the bad. I can wear comfy shoes and not CARE if they aren't a perfect match for my dress. I can openly oogle cute guys and they don't worry that I'm HITTING on them 'cause I'm OLD. (And I'm NOT, of course, but it surely is fun to walk right up to some under-25 year old and say, "Wow, are you ever H-O-T. If I were 25 years younger ...!" and have them grin.)I LIKE me. I like my age. I like my greying hair. And YOU? You are a beauty, Susan! Age has nothing to do with defining 'pretty.' And you have THE most lovely spirit! So I'M glad YOU like yourself as much as I like you!


On 06/01/2008, Teresa said ...

I just turned 58 and I love this stage of my life. My kids are grown and I have grandchildren that run to me and hug me when they see me and when they get tired and grumpy they go home. I have time to do my quilting and if I want to take a nap, I do. Life is good.


On 06/01/2008, angie said ...

Hi! I've just discovered your blog. I'm Spanish so sorry if my English isn't good enough. I have read the text and I think is fantastic and a lesson to everybody. We're too worried by the changes of our body, what we eat, what other people things.... Age teaches us a lot of things. I'm in my forties and I recognize that I feel better with myself as I become older. Thanks for sharing this wonderful words.


On 06/01/2008, angie said ...

Hi! I've just discovered your blog. I'm Spanish so sorry if my English isn't good enough. I have read the text and I think is fantastic and a lesson to everybody. We're too worried by the changes of our body, what we eat, what other people things.... Age teaches us a lot of things. I'm in my forties and I recognize that I feel better with myself as I become older. Thanks for sharing this wonderful words.


On 06/01/2008, angie said ...

Hi! I've just discovered your blog. I'm Spanish so sorry if my English isn't good enough. I have read the text and I think is fantastic and a lesson to everybody. We're too worried by the changes of our body, what we eat, what other people things.... Age teaches us a lot of things. I'm in my forties and I recognize that I feel better with myself as I become older. Thanks for sharing this wonderful words.


On 06/03/2008, Shelley said ...

I loved your blog today. I am turning 54 this month. I have started on the journey of accepting who I am and how old my body is getting. And so looking forward to discovering myself more and what God is teaching me. And just being happy and content with me and mine. I lost my sister in law a few months ago and we were the same age. I am mourning the fact that we cant continue on this journey together. The best is yet to be. Thank you so much for posting that lovely story/poem. God BLess


On 06/04/2008, Nan said ...

What a lovely post! I recently had a birthday, and have been thinking about who I am these days compared to the "young" me. I feel like I'm 25 until I look in the mirror! There is a great freedom that comes with getting older, and I try to cherish that every day. Thank you so much for sharing, Susan! You've made my day!


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On 10/07/2009, Elvira said ...

Glad I'm not alone-Thanks for the post-lovely
Elvira
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